150 Funny Valentines Day Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Not Cry

Tired of the same old sappy Valentine’s Day sentiments? Let’s face it, sometimes love is hilarious! If you’re looking to ditch the mush and embrace the funny side of February 14th, you’ve come to the right place.

Get ready to chuckle your way through the holiday with our collection of funny Valentine’s Day quotes. From relatable relationship woes to playful jabs at love itself, we’ve got the perfect dose of humor to spice up your cards, texts, or social media posts this year.

Prepare to share some laughs and celebrate Valentine’s Day in a way that’s a little less serious and a whole lot more fun.

Best Funny Valentines Day Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Not Cry

• I love you more than pizza, and that’s saying something.
• Happy Valentine’s Day to the person who still laughs at my terrible jokes.
• My love for you is like my internet connection; sometimes it’s strong, sometimes it’s buffering, but it’s always there.
• Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m not good at poems, but I love you.
• Being with you is like a never-ending comedy show, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
• Valentine’s Day: the only day where I try to be romantic and end up just ordering takeout.
• You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, the cheese to my macaroni, the weird to my wonderful.
• I’m so glad we’re together, because trying to find someone else would be exhausting.
• Let’s skip the fancy dinner and celebrate our love with sweatpants and a movie marathon.
• Our relationship is proof that two wrongs can make a really fun right.
• Happy Valentine’s Day to my partner in crime, especially when it comes to eating all the chocolate.
• If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right, but also maybe we should order pizza just in case.
• Thank you for loving me, even when I’m being a complete goofball.
• You’re the reason I believe in love, and also the reason I sometimes question my sanity.
• Valentine’s Day is just another excuse to buy chocolate, I’m just happy I get to share it with you.

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes for the Unromantic

Valentine’s Day looming and romance not your jam? Fear not, fellow cynics! “Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes for the Unromantic” are your secret weapon. Ditch the sappy poems and embrace sarcastic wit. Think lines about chocolate being your true love or couples therapy being a better gift. It’s all about laughs,…

• Love is sharing your popcorn, even when they only wanted the buttered kind: Happy Valentine’s Day!
• I love you more than naps, but please don’t test me on that before 10 am.
• You’re the reason my phone storage is always full of screenshots I’ll never use; Happy Valentine’s Day!
• Our relationship is like a fine cheese: aged, a little stinky, but ultimately, I can’t live without it.
• Happy Valentine’s Day to the one who has seen me at my worst and still chooses to stick around.
• I tolerate you better than anyone else, which I think is a pretty solid definition of love.
• Forget the roses, let’s celebrate our shared love of avoiding social situations.
• You’re the only person I’d willingly share my last slice of pizza with… maybe. Happy V-Day!
• Love is having someone who’ll still like you even after you’ve eaten all the chocolate.
• We’re not a fairytale; we’re more like a really good sitcom: hilarious, slightly dysfunctional, but always entertaining.
• You’re the reason I have a permanent eye roll, and yet I still love you, go figure.
• Happy Valentine’s Day! Thanks for putting up with my weirdness, it’s not for everyone.
• If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right, but also maybe we should order pizza just in case.
• I’m so glad we’re together, because trying to find someone else would be exhausting.
• You’re my favorite reason to hide the remote, Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!

Hilariously Relatable Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes

Let’s be honest, Valentine’s Day can be a pressure cooker! That’s where hilariously relatable funny quotes come in. Forget the saccharine stuff; these gems acknowledge the absurdity of love, dating, and all the awkwardness in between. They’re perfect for a laugh with your partner, a single friend, or even just…

• Our relationship is like a fine wine; it gets better with age… or maybe it’s just that we’re both getting used to each other’s quirks.
• I love you more than pizza, which is a pretty big deal considering I’m always hungry.
• Happy Valentine’s Day to the person who tolerates my snoring, questionable dance moves, and love for reality TV.
• We go together like peanut butter and jelly… or maybe like socks and sandals, slightly mismatched but somehow it works.
• Forget the fancy dinner, let’s celebrate our love with sweatpants, a movie marathon, and maybe a pizza.
• You’re the reason my phone is full of screenshots I’ll never use, and I still love you for it.
• Love is sharing your snacks, even when you secretly wish they hadn’t asked.
• Our love story is my favorite, mostly because it involves a lot of awkward moments and questionable decisions we both made together.
• If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right, but maybe we should order pizza just in case.
• You’re not just my Valentine, you’re the reason I have a permanent eye roll, and I still wouldn’t trade you for anything.
• Thanks for putting up with my shenanigans, I know it’s not always easy, and yet, you still choose to be with me.
• We’re not a fairytale, we’re more like a really good sitcom; hilarious, slightly dysfunctional, but always entertaining.
• Happy Valentine’s Day to the only person who understands my level of sarcasm, and still chooses to stick around.
• I love you even when you steal all the blankets, which is a special kind of love, I think.
• Let’s skip the romance and go straight to the laughter; Happy Valentine’s Day, my friend!

Sarcastic and Witty Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be all hearts and roses! If you’re more into eye-rolls than romance, sarcastic and witty quotes are your jam. Forget the mushy stuff; these funny Valentine’s Day quotes deliver laughs with a side of playful cynicism. Perfect for cards, social media, or just a good…

• Happy Valentine’s Day: Let’s celebrate our ability to tolerate each other’s quirks for another year.
• Love is in the air? Maybe it’s just the pizza I ordered. Happy Valentine’s!
• I love you more than coffee, which is saying a lot, especially on a Monday.
• You’re the reason my phone is full of screenshots I’ll never use, and I still kind of like you.
• Happy Valentine’s Day: Let’s agree to disagree on everything except how awesome we are.
• Our relationship is like a fine cheese: aged, a little stinky, but ultimately, I can’t live without it.
• Valentine’s Day: The perfect excuse to buy chocolate and pretend it’s for someone else.
• I’m not saying you’re perfect, but you’re perfectly annoying in all the right ways.
• Happy Valentine’s Day to the person who knows all my flaws and still sticks around.
• We go together like socks and sandals: slightly mismatched but somehow it works.
• Love is sharing your fries, even when you secretly want them all. Happy Valentine’s!
• My love for you is like my laundry pile: it just keeps growing.
• Forget the romance, let’s celebrate our shared love of avoiding social situations.
• I tolerate you better than anyone else, which I think is a pretty solid definition of love.

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes About Love’s Absurdities

Let’s face it, love isn’t always a rom-com. Sometimes it’s more like a sitcom with absurd plot twists! Funny Valentine’s Day quotes celebrating love’s hilarious imperfections are perfect for those who prefer laughter over sappiness. These witty one-liners acknowledge the goofy, messy reality of relationships, offering a much-needed dose of…

• Our love is like a bad rom-com: predictable, cheesy, but I can’t stop watching.
• I love you more than pizza, which is saying a lot considering my questionable eating habits.
• We’re not a fairytale, we’re more like a really good sitcom: hilarious, slightly dysfunctional, but always entertaining.
• You’re the reason I have trust issues… but also the reason I still believe in love. Go figure.
• I tolerate you better than anyone else, which I think is a pretty solid definition of love.
• Our relationship is proof that two wrongs can make a really fun right, though we’re still working on the ‘right’ part.
• Love is sharing your snacks, even when you secretly wish they hadn’t asked.
• We go together like socks and sandals: slightly mismatched but somehow it works.
• You’re the reason I have a permanent eye roll, and yet, I still wouldn’t trade you for anything.
• Our love story is my favorite, mostly because it involves a lot of awkward moments and questionable decisions we both made together.
• I’m not saying you’re perfect, but you’re perfectly annoying in all the right ways.
• If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right, but maybe we should order pizza just in case.
• Our relationship is like a fine cheese: aged, a little stinky, but ultimately, I can’t live without it.
• You’re my favorite pain in the butt, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
• I love you even when you steal all the blankets, which is a special kind of love, I think.

Anti-Valentine’s Day Funny Quotes for the Single & Proud

Forget the hearts and roses! If you’re single and loving it, Anti-Valentine’s Day is your jam. We’re talking hilariously relatable quotes that poke fun at the mushy stuff. Think less “love is in the air” and more “pizza is my soulmate.” These funny Valentine’s Day quotes are the perfect antidote..

• My heart is like a hotel: plenty of room, but no permanent residents.
• Love is in the air? Nope, just pizza.
• I’m not anti-love, I’m pro-avoiding awkward Valentine’s Day dinners.
• Relationship status: committed to my couch and a good book.
• Happy Singles Awareness Day! May your chocolate be half-priced and your solitude blissful.
• This Valentine’s Day, I’m celebrating the most important relationship: me and my Netflix account.
• Cupid called, he said I’m a lost cause. I told him, “Challenge accepted.”
• Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single and fabulous, how about you?
• Valentine’s Day is just another Tuesday… except with more candy and higher expectations.
• My love language is sarcasm, so Valentine’s Day is just another day for me.
• I don’t need a Valentine; I’ve got a pizza, a remote, and zero regrets.
• I’m not alone; I’m just on a break from having to share my snacks.
• This Valentine’s Day, I’m practicing self-love by skipping the overpriced dinner and going for extra dessert.
• My heart isn’t broken, it’s just resting.

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes That Perfectly Describe Relationships

Let’s face it, Valentine’s Day can be a bit much. That’s where funny quotes come in! Forget the sappy stuff, embrace the humor that truly reflects real relationships. We’re talking about the “I love you even when you steal the covers” kind of love. These quotes offer a hilarious, relatable…

• Our relationship is like a badly written rom-com: predictable, cheesy, but I’m still here for it.
• I love you more than pizza, which is a lot considering my questionable eating habits, especially on a Tuesday.
• We’re not a fairytale, we’re more like a really good sitcom: hilarious, slightly dysfunctional, but always entertaining.
• You’re the reason I have a permanent eye roll, and yet, I still wouldn’t trade you for anything, especially on Valentine’s Day.
• Thanks for putting up with my shenanigans, we know it’s not always easy being this awesome.
• Our relationship is proof that two wrongs can make a really fun right… most of the time.
• I’m not saying you’re perfect, but you’re perfectly annoying in all the right ways, especially when you steal my side of the bed.
• We go together like socks and sandals: slightly mismatched but somehow it works, and is very comfortable.
• Love is sharing your fries, even when you secretly want them all, especially on Valentine’s Day.
• You’re the only person I’d willingly share my snacks with… most of the time, but definitely not my chocolate.
• Our love story is my favorite, mostly because it involves a lot of awkward moments and questionable decisions we both made together.
• Forget romance, let’s celebrate our shared love of avoiding social situations, especially on February 14th.
• My love language is sarcasm, so Valentine’s Day is just another day for me to be witty and slightly annoying.
• We’re not just a couple; we’re a team, and our team’s main goal is to find the best snacks and binge-watch shows.
• I tolerate you better than anyone else, which I think is a pretty solid definition of love, especially on a day like this.

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes: Perfect for Cards and Captions

Looking for a Valentine’s Day laugh? Forget the sappy stuff! “Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes: Perfect for Cards and Captions” is your go-to guide for witty one-liners and hilarious declarations of (slightly flawed) love. From self-deprecating humor to playful jabs, these quotes are perfect for adding a fun, lighthearted touch to…

• My heart has a crush on you, but my stomach wants pizza. Happy Valentine’s!
• I love you more than my phone, which is a pretty big deal, especially on a Tuesday.
• We go together like socks and sandals: slightly mismatched but somehow it works. Happy Valentine’s!
• Relationship status: committed to my couch and a good book, but I’ll make an exception for you.
• You’re the reason my phone is full of screenshots I’ll never use. Happy Valentine’s Day!
• I’m not saying you’re perfect, but you’re perfectly annoying in all the right ways.
• Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s agree to disagree on everything except how awesome we are.
• Forget the roses, let’s celebrate our shared love of avoiding social situations.
• Our relationship is like a fine cheese: aged, a little stinky, but ultimately, I can’t live without it.
• I love you even when you steal the blankets, which is a special kind of love, I think.
• Love is sharing your fries, even when you secretly wish they hadn’t asked.
• You’re the reason I have a permanent eye roll, and yet, I still wouldn’t trade you for anything.
• Valentine’s Day is just another excuse to buy chocolate, I’m just happy I get to share it with you… maybe.
• If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right, but maybe we should order pizza just in case.
• Happy Valentine’s Day to the one who still laughs at my terrible jokes, I appreciate you.

The Best Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes to Share

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be all hearts and roses! If mushy isn’t your style, “The Best Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes to Share” is your go-to. Find witty one-liners and hilarious observations about love and relationships, perfect for a lighthearted card or a chuckle-worthy social media post. Spread the laughter,…

• I love you more than pizza, but please don’t make me prove it by sharing my last slice.
• Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s be real, I’m mostly in it for the chocolate.
• You’re the reason I have trust issues, but also the reason I still believe in love. Go figure.
• Our relationship is like a fine cheese: aged, a little stinky, but ultimately, I can’t live without it.
• I’m not saying you’re perfect, but you’re perfectly annoying in all the right ways.
• Happy Valentine’s Day to the person who tolerates my snoring, questionable dance moves, and love for reality TV.
• Forget the roses, let’s celebrate our shared love of avoiding social situations.
• Love is sharing your fries, even when you secretly want them all.
• You’re the only person I’d willingly share my Netflix password with. That’s true love, right?
• Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s agree to disagree on everything except how awesome we are.
• Our relationship is proof that two wrongs can make a really fun right… most of the time.
• I love you even when you steal all the blankets; it’s a special kind of love, I think.
• Valentine’s Day: The perfect excuse to buy chocolate and pretend it’s for someone else.
• You’re my favorite reason to hide the remote. Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!